Garmin’s inReach will let you text Mum, no matter where you end up

Yuck, I can smell sweaty Ronhills.

Don’t worry, this is no Duke of Edinburgh weekend. This is more for your unsupported desert crossing, or Arctic Circle escapade. And while it is a full-functional handheld GPS, it also has the inReach satellite communication system – send your SOS over SMS-type messaging in places where ‘Snapchat’ is probably some kind of fermented tea.

What, so I can only text the mountain rescue?

Nope, you can space-text whomsoever your heart desires. There’s just a dedicated SOS button for when you get in real trouble, that’ll put you in touch with a global search-and-rescue team. (Hint: best not to cry wolf on that particular channel.) But, whether you’re deep in the Atacama Desert, or just in Asda, you might want to save your texts for particularly heartfelt thoughts.

Ah, because money?

Also because message formulation is done via the four-way controller and basic predictive. But, yes, mainly money: satellite subscriptions start at £14.99/month for a measely 10 messages, up to £84.99/month for unlimited galactic LOLing and online route tracking.

The devices themselves are the yellow inReach SE+, £399, and £449 for the inReach Explorer+, which adds features such as maps, compass and altimeter. And is a nice Baywatch float-can orange. But doesn’t float. But is waterproof. As is the other one.

About

Fraser used to wear a Psion Series 3 palmtop in a shoulder holster. Perhaps he still does.Either way, his lifelong mission - including fourteen years for Stuff - has been to see whether the consumer electronics industry can ever replicate that kind of cyborgian joy.So far: nope. Despite a plan to combine a action camera and Olympus Eye-Trek goggles to become Man Who Sees The Vision Of A Man Three Inches Taller Than Himself.He also likes mountain bikes, motorbikes, cars, helicopters. Still thinks virtual surround is witchcraft. Dislikes jetskis, despite never having been on one.