13 of the most ludicrous gadget names in history

There’s been a lot of rather unfortunate tech naming decisions made over the years. From the Samsung Rant to Sony’s Qriosity, the gadget timeline is littered with products that twist our ears as much as our tongues.

Here’s a selection we’ve rustled up. If we’ve missed any gems, do let us know in the comments.

Razer Kraken E-Panda Hooligan

Made by Razer for Eric “E-Panda” Hernandez, the session and tour drummer for Bruno Mars (who also happens to be his brother), these large over the ear headphones make even the Beats by Dre range look subtle. And that’s saying something.

They’re foldable, which apparently is perfect for people ‘with a busy touring schedule’ like E-Panda’s, have 40 mm neodymium magnet drivers and are tuned for deep bass. They can be all yours for US$80 (excluding shipping cost) – complete with a brilliant angry panda logo.

[Source: Razer]

Sony Rolly

To be fair to Sony, the Rolly was so brilliantly daft, coming up with a name must have been tough. And what else do you call a ball that can dance, flash lights and act as an MP3 player? Dance Ball Roller?

Briefly favoured by George Michael as his portable music gadget of choice (we kid you not), it was fully programmable with special software and you could even load pre-programmed dance moves onto it if you got bored of its usual routine.

The gadget spawned some impressive YouTube videos too – check out its rendition of Michael Jackson’s Thriller above.

Qriosity

Possibly named after a long night with the Rolly, Qriosity was unveiled as Sony’s catch-all streaming service to take on the ever-growing threat of Apple’s iTunes.

It didn’t quite live up to its potential (although it did lead to some excellent Qriosity killed the cat headlines), and was quickly renamed Music Unlimited. A name which rolls off the tongue a little better, we think you’ll agree.

Casio G’zOne phone

It’s a name that could only be improved if they’d penned a deal with Boyzone to promote it.

Casio’s line of ultrarugged G’zOne phones offers us all a lesson in the hazards of playing around with Caps key on the keyboard. Don’t do it kids.

Still on sale in the US, it even has the tagline ‘the one and only’, another nod to its ’80s pop inspirations. That upper case ‘O’ continues to haunt us.

The iMuffs

This Bluetooth headset never really had much hope with its rather unique name.

It’s actually a rather neat idea though, and includes a dongle for wireless iPod audio playback with audio controls on the side for easy navigation when running.

Samsung Galaxy S II Epic 4G Touch

If you’re the kind of person who has YOLO tattooed on their arm and ends every sentence with ‘dude’, then good news, we’ve found your dream phone.

The Samsung Galaxy S II Epic 4G Touch is, somewhat sadly, in reality just a plain old S II – in the US, carrier Sprint felt compelled to tack on three extra words just for its version. You know, for the Xtremeness.

Ainovo Novo7 Swordman

Definitely not designed solely to fool customers into thinking they’re bought a Lenovo (cough), this Chinese brand decided to go all out, adding two Novos and a Swordman to its name.

If only they’d thought to replace the stylus with a sword, it would have sold to thousands of Game of Thrones fans. Next time Ainovo. Next time…

Pentax D*ist

Oh, Pentax, what were you thinking?

This 6.1 megapixel digital snapper failed to set the world alight when it was released – probably because nobody could work out how to ask for it in a shop.

D star ist? Dasterisk-ist? You decide.

Tivoli iYiYi

Billed as the the definitive high-end home iPod player, the Tivoli iYiYi is a classic in the naming stakes – and probably sounded really good in the original pitch meeting. Where they might have been just a little bit drunk.

Still, it got a respectable four stars from What Hi-Fi, way back in 2007, so that’s something, right?

Samsung Rant

While we could have included several delicacies from Samsung’s range, a few products stand out.

Here’s the Samsung Rant, perfect for those who tend to get in arguments on the phone.

Slamming its sliding QWERTY shut provided the kind of satisfaction that modern big-screened smartphones simply can’t offer.

Samsung Smiley

The Smiley is also a great example of what not to do when a company tries to jump on a craze – emoticons, in this case, really isn’t a good idea.

Please Samsung, don’t follow the trends. Otherwise we might see a Samsung Galaxy Twerk and lose all faith in humanity.

Just about every TV, ever

Let’s play a game: real TV name, or wantonly stupid, made-up TV name?

TX-L60DT65B or WT-V900DT42S?

WZ-K50L5000 or 55LM960V?

50L2333 or X32+&*£ZZ?

And the answers are… actually, sod it, it really doesn’t matter.

Image credit: April Killingsworth

Fanny Wang

Seriously.

No. Seriously.

We’re black belt Googlers, but the only explanation we could find to explain the name of this headphone brand is that… well, there doesn’t seem to be one.

Perhaps Fanny Wang was a name that appeared in the mists of a particulalry strong spiritual experience for its founders David Adam and Tim Hickman. Or maybe it’s just a silly name that was chosen to stand out from the crowd.

Either way they’ve been praised for their decent sound and tight, heavy bass. And they look good too.