Vacheron Constantin’s watch is, in all senses of the word, astronomical

That thing’s looking pretty busy.

Unlike the kind of people who can afford one, amiright? Zing? Actually, we were wondering earlier – do new millionaires have a party anymore? Or is that considered too trifling a sum in modern-type business? Come back and see us with a ‘b’ atop your ‘illionaire’, madam, then we’ll crack the frobscottle! Sort of thing.

No point asking me, is there? My wallet’s been lying low so long, it’s got bed-sores.

Well, mills and bills; that’s the level of folk that buy watches like this. But we hope, in this case, out of wonder and desire, rather than just a non-depreciating asset. Because it’s really rather special.

Come on, then, I’m itching to hear about your non-depreciating asset.

Well, its name’s a good place to kick-off: the Vacheron Constantin Les Cabinotiers Celestia Astronomical Grand Complication 3600. It’s the most intense watch Vacheron Constantin has ever created and it has been many years in the making. Which is why, if you want one, there’s that US$1m price tag.

Marvellous, marvellous; carry on…

You see the word ‘Astronomical’ in the name? Well, this watch is like the titular device in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, except heavily localised and sadly devoid of the voice of Peter Jones.

It’ll tell you the time the sun rises and the time the sun sets, the seasons of the year and the sign of the zodiac currently represented. The little Sun, Moon and Earth array up at 11 o’clock conspire to tell you the tides, while on the back there’s a moving star chart, room to see the tourbillon movement and a gauge revealing the charge level of its (remarkable) 21-day power reserve.

Gosh, is that all?

That’s just the overview. The internet’s not infinite, you know. But there’s something to point out here, in case you haven’t figured it – tides and sunset times are unique to where you are on the planet, so part of that US$1m price tag is having Vacheron Constantin customise the Celestia to your home, be that Bermuda or Birmingham.

About

Fraser used to wear a Psion Series 3 palmtop in a shoulder holster. Perhaps he still does.Either way, his lifelong mission - including fourteen years for Stuff - has been to see whether the consumer electronics industry can ever replicate that kind of cyborgian joy.So far: nope. Despite a plan to combine a action camera and Olympus Eye-Trek goggles to become Man Who Sees The Vision Of A Man Three Inches Taller Than Himself.He also likes mountain bikes, motorbikes, cars, helicopters. Still thinks virtual surround is witchcraft. Dislikes jetskis, despite never having been on one.