What to expect from Apple’s 9 September event

Home / Features / iPhone 6! iWatch! iOtherThings! What to expect from Apple’s 9 September event

The invites are out, anticipation is building, and all over the world people are ‘accidentally’ dropping their last-gen iPhones and readying their insurance claims.

Yes, Apple’s holding a launch event next week at the Flint Center for Performing Arts, in Cupertino, the venue where Steve Jobs introduced the original iMac. The countdown to the 9/9/2014 event has begun, and can be viewed on Apple’s site.

So what shiny new iThings will we all get to see on the day? We’ve doffed our best guessing hat to make 10 predictions…

1. iPhone 6

What to expect from Apple’s 9/9/2014 event

Apple’s next-generation iPhone, to replace the 5s at the top of the line (probably – see the next item), and make everyone scream that the company is doomed if it doesn’t sell 50 million units in approximately five seconds. (Apple will then sell 50 million units in approximately five seconds and people will yell Apple’s doomed anyway.)

As per our preview, you can expect the device to have a bigger screen, be insanely powerful, and to make every anti-Apple Android device owner throw their toys out of the pram regarding Apple ‘copying’ Android by finally making a larger smartphone.

Likelihood: 100%

The only way this won’t occur is if Tim Cook tears off his face, to reveal the grinning visage of Bill Gates, who’ll yell SURPRISE! and break the news that Apple’s entire history has been a Microsoft prank.

2. iPhone 6L

An embiggened iPhone 6, supposedly with a 5.5-inch screen, possibly also doubling, in a pinch, as a surfboard.

As per our report, rumours suggest it might have a kind of super-Retina display, a ginormous battery, and be a hundred bucks pricier than the iPhone 6. On the plus side, anyone who really wanted the iPad Mini to be a phone will be in luck.

Likelihood: 70%

About

I’m a regular contributor to Stuff magazine and Stuff.tv, covering apps, games, Apple kit, Android, Lego, retro gaming and other interesting oddities. I also pen opinion pieces when the editor lets me, getting all serious about accessibility and predicting when sentient AI smart cookware will take over the world, in a terrifying mix of Bake Off and Terminator.

Areas of expertise

Mobile apps and games, Macs, iOS and tvOS devices, Android, retro games, crowdfunding, design, how to fight off an enraged smart saucepan with a massive stick.