Petcube Bites is the treat-throwing deity your dog has been dreaming of

I know you’re addicted to Kickstarter, but just leave Bailey out of this…

Too late, I’m afraid. The Petcube Bites has been pre-ordered, and I’ve told Bailey it’s coming in September. That’s a little further away than his two-second attention span can comprehend, but I can tell he’s excited. Why wouldn’t he be? The Petcube Bites is a Wi-Fi camera that can hold up to 100 treats. Sure, it has some of that boring stuff humans get excited about, like 1080p video and night vision. But the main thing is that when I switch the camera into ‘public’ mode, anyone watching on the app can toss him a treat…

We’re talking about the internet here. You know what those guys are like…

Yeah, they can get a bit carried away. That’s why you can control and limit the number of treats given per day, just like you can set the times that the camera goes ‘public’. There’s also a 2-way microphone, so I can tell Bailey to stop chewing my PS4 controller, and he can tell me to stop leaving things around that look like bones. It’s a bit like The Truman Show for pets, only they’re at home rather than marooned on Seahaven island…

I think you might be missing the point of owning a dog…

Nah, it’s the harsh reality of Bailey’s life, relived every day, that I must leave him every morning for a reason that sounds excitingly like ‘walk’. The Petcube is there to fill that gap. It watches over your furry midget too, sending alerts to your phone when it recognises unusual sound or motion, and recording clips if you sign up for the $10 p/month Petcube Care service. Cats will like it too, particularly if you pair it with the Petcube Play and its laser toy. And when your other half’s lying on the sofa hungover, you can use it to drip feed them Jolly Ranchers and paracetamol. Everyone wins. The only downer is that we’re going to have to wait until September 2017 for our $249 gadget treat to arrive.